The Big Secret To Dating: How To Have All The Dates You Want

Would you like to know the biggest secret to attracting all the dates you want? It's all about your attitude. If you think you can't attract dates, you won't. If you know you can, you will.
How many times have you heard the words, "There's nobody out there"? You may have listened to friends, coworkers, or even your own family, make these statements. If you are single, you might have even said them yourself. But if all the good ones are gone, what about those 110 million single Americans who are looking for someone? Couldn't there possibly be a good one in the bunch?
The secret to getting the dates you want is to forget what people say, such as, "You'll never get what you want so you have to take what you can get." When you have people acting out of that limited view of the world, you have unions that are compromises.
The secret to attracting dates is to not believe that the world is a place of scarcity.
To have all the dates you want with the people you want, try the following:
1. Stay away from conversations that inevitably lead to "there is no one out there."
Here is a big secret: just because that is someone else's conclusion doesn't mean it has to be yours. Look for conversations of hope and possibility that have phrases that begin with "I can" and "I will" and "I'm going to do everything in my power to give it my best shot."
2. Resist the message from the media.
Movie stars and models project the image that we have to look and act in a certain way. People who don't know how to find their own dates say you need to be better than you are in order to attract someone. People who are overweight, bald, past the age of 40 or 50 or 60 or more, driving a late model car, or wearing '60s polyester suits meet and fall in love every day. You can too.
3. Be aware of gathering a group of people around you who are also hopeless.
We often seek out people who feel and think as we do and then begin to believe that what we collectively say is irrefutable law. If you are hanging out with people who believe and voice the opinion that it is impossible to live your highest goals and to have a lasting relationship, you will create your reality from that view point. Make a conscious effort at finding some new friends with positive, affirming voices.
4. Pay attention to your resistance to a new belief.
Trial lawyers are aware of the phenomenon that the evidence that comes first matters more than the evidence presented later. Once jurors form a belief, that belief becomes resistant to counter evidence. If you have solidified an opinion that you can't meet someone, even the best news out there that points to the contrary will be met with skepticism.
What are some immediate activities you can do that can help flatten or erase some of the latest discouraging remarks you may have heard lately about how you can't find dates? Read inspirational books and stories about people who have triumphed. Watch movies that have a romantic theme and a happy ending. Listen to inspirational speakers who have not been swayed by defeatist slogans. Build a bank of positive examples of successful people so you can resist believing the phrase, "All the good ones are gone." And then, get out of the house to meet people. Smile, talk, and be friendly.
Change your attitude and watch your life change. Get ready to date.
Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)
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